Effective as of May 1st, 2015
When I was a rookie on the police department, I didn’t understand why the veterans were so cynical, curmudgeony and untrusting… of just about everybody. Including most of the people they worked with.
It was only a couple years later I totally got it. And had become likewise.
When I started doing client work, I wondered the same thing about the veteran copywriters. I noticed that many of them were quite guarded… distrusting of anybody outside their inner circle.
Now I TOTALLY get it!
And even though, up until now, I’ve somehow avoided becoming as cynical as when I was as a cop… that just changed this week.
The details about the final straw that broke the camel’s back aren’t important. It’s just ANOTHER confirmation of “no good deed goes unpunished.”
So… in the interest of self-preservation… the good deeds emanating from ole Doberman Dan will now be SEVERELY restricted.
As of today I’m establishing some rules. (More about those in a sec.)
Look, I enjoy sharing with positive people trying to grow personally and make good things happen in their lives. So I hope you understand, I never wanted things to come to this.
And I certainly never wanted to be a stand-off, isolationist dick. But there are some unpleasant realities going on here that I hope you understand. The most important being…
I Have More Years Behind Me
Than Ahead Of Me!
And there’s still a LOT that needs to be accomplished with the remaining years.
So, just like any intelligent person in possession of a priceless and extremely limited resource should do, I am now EXCEEDINGLY careful about what I do with my rapidly dwindling time.
Because of that, my availability will now be GREATLY limited.
More than ever.
And VERY few will make the cut.
That leads to…
Rule #1
From now on, the only people I will even CONSIDER worthy of being on the receiving end of my time, resources and any possible good deeds will have to pass my first litmus test.
And what is that?
Well, the very FIRST thing I want to know is…
Are You, Or Are You Not, a Knight
In My Marketing Camelot?
Your answer to that determines what happens next:
- Yes, you ARE a knight in the Marketing Camelot? Good! You may continue on your quest.
- No, you are NOT a knight in the Marketing Camelot? Unless you’re ready to correct that error of omission right away… whatever you’re requesting will be summarily rejected by one of my gatekeepers.
My opinion is biased of course, but experience has shown that my Marketing Camelot attracts some of the sharpest, go-getter, salt-of-the-earth people in the world.
Consequently, the do-nothing, thumb-sucking, cry baby assholes are EXTREMELY uncomfortable around my knights and me. Most don’t last more than a month.
Two at the most.
They make life suck so I very meticulously engineered the whole deal from the very beginning to repel them.
Sooooo… if you’re a knight in the Marketing Camelot (especially if you’ve been with me for a while) that tells me a LOT about the type of person you are.
And you are very likely someone I would want to help.
If you answered “no” to my Marketing Camelot question… and for some reason you’re not willing to correct that error… you MIGHT possibly be considered for getting some of my attention. But ONLY if your request is accompanied by a “real person” fee paid in advance.
The amount of that fee will be determined by how long it will take me to deal with you. Just so you have a frame of reference, my current fee for “civilians” (people not in the Marketing Camelot) is $2,000/hour. So your “real person” fee will probably be anywhere from $1,000 to $2,000.
Bottom line:
If you’re not already a knight in the Marketing Camelot… and/or you’re unwilling to become one immediately… the chance of getting any of my attention has dropped to darn near zero.
And it’s gonna cost you at least 4-figures to even be considered.
Next on the list is…
Rule #2
Even if you are a knight in the Marketing Camelot, in person availability will now be practically non-existent.
There will be a few VERY rare instances… but those will be limited to a handful of “salt of the earth people” who will be thoroughly vetted by me and my team.
So… when I offer a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity like I recently did here:
… and I say “it will never be repeated”… I mean it.
You see, for a lot of reasons, both personal and business, I’m taking steps to become a ghost.
In a few years I envision the only contact you’ll have with me is through The Doberman Dan Letter and our private Marketing Camelot webinars.
But I’m not quite to that point yet… so let’s move on to…
Rule #3
In addition to in person availability being limited to only a handful of people, telephone availability will also be severely restricted.
Same rule as before. Only knights in the Marketing Camelot will be considered. Civilians better have a good reason… and should be prepared to write a 4-figure check to even get in the queue for being considered.
Oh, here’s a frequent question I’ve been getting a lot over the past 24 months…
Is Doberman Dan Available
For Copywriting Projects?
HIGHLY unlikely.
In fact, if you’re not able and willing to write at LEAST a mid 5-figure check… and are prepared to pay performance-based royalties… don’t even waste your breath asking the question.
Why?
Because if I use that particular skill for my own products and businesses I can make 10 to 1,000 times more money. AND… in the case of 90% of typical clients, I can do it with a helluva lot less stress, dysfunction and drama.
(Remind me to tell you one day about the client who actually believed that 4-hour workweek bullshit. Gawd, what a train wreck.)
Look, I’ve paid an enormous price to figure out all this stuff I know how to do.
A price that 99.9999999999% will NEVER pay.
It has taken me 30 years as a serial entrepreneur to finally realize this… but what’s up in my noggin should only be shared with an infinitesimally teeny tiny number of people.
In other words…
I Will No Longer “Cast Pearls Before Swine!”
The ones worthy of it will self identify.
In fact, they have no other choice. They can’t control it. It’s who they are… because you can’t keep a winner from winning.
You think what I’ve sweated BLOOD for should be given to you? Just because you ask?
Oh, my dear rookie… you have a lot to learn.
Here are just a tiny handful of the HUNDREDS of things I did to get on my mentor’s radar so I could eventually work with the great copywriting master:
- I bought EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT HE OFFERED. Even if I didn’t have the money and had to go into debt to do it. (And ALL of his products were high priced.)
- I actually IMPLEMENTED many of the things I learned from his newsletter and products and sent regular correspondence advising him of the results.
- I sent a highly creative snail mail letter, package, box or gift with some “theater”… at least once a month… FOR TWO YEARS STRAIGHT.
- I wrote numerous pieces of sales copy, articles and even content for his newsletter, never asking for any compensation or recognition whatsoever.
- Based only on an issue of his newsletter, I sold nearly every earthly possession I had (except 2 changes of clothes, my laptop and my Doberman), abandoned my home, all my friends and family… and moved, sight unseen, to a foreign country.
And that’s only a tiny glimpse of all the sacrifices I made to work with a master.
What makes you think it should be any easier for YOU?
If it were easy, everybody would do it. And it wouldn’t be worth a plug nickel.
I’m done. I’ve said my piece for today.
If you haven’t understood the message by now you never will.
But I can tell you this:
All the PWM’s get it… and they’ve been nodding their heads in agreement this entire time.
But before I close, allow me to clarify something:
If I’ve come across as bitter, resentful and hateful… it’s not like that at all. (Well… maybe a little.)
I’m just a guy whose time has become VERY in demand. And with the best of intentions, I’ve been trying to appease everybody and accommodate all those requests.
It’s now impossible to continue doing that.
I’m only one guy and there only 24 hours in a day.
Unfortunately, every day it appears those days are falling like sand in an hourglass, their descent accelerating with each passing minute.
I can no longer keep “putting off ‘til tomorrow” the things most important to my family and me.
If you’re a knight in the Marketing Camelot, I love ya and I’m still here for you.
Just know that, other than our monthly visits in The Doberman Dan Letter and our webinars it won’t be as easy as before to get some of my time.
But if you REALLY want it… and are willing to prove it… I’m still here for you.
All the best,
Doberman Dan
P.S. It wouldn’t be a Doberman Dan piece without my standard thang at the end, now would it?
So…
Pax vobiscum.
