“A wise old owl sat in an oak.

The more he heard, the less he spoke.

The less he spoke, the more he heard.

Why can’t we all be like that wise old bird?”

My grandpa used to recite this poem.

Frequently.

I guess that was a nice way of telling me to shut up.

I should’ve listened, too. I probably could’ve gotten wealthy a lot younger, been a lot happier and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have gone through two divorces. (Although divorce #1 WAS one of the best things that ever happened to me, so no regrets there.)

After all these decades, my grandpa’s poem came to life for me recently.

I held a small group event this summer.

My personal focus at the event was to just listen.

A special kind of listening… with an extra little secret ingredient.

And the results were amazing.

I’ve never conducted, attended or experienced anything like it.

Not even back in my younger days when I used to go to church.

It was life changing.

Especially for me.

One of the attendees described it as a “spiritual experience.”

Was it something I presented, did or said?

Nope.

My mouth was shut 90% of the time.

I listened.

REALLY listened.

Cuz what comes out of people’s mouths only tells a part of the story.

You see, true listening is a “use all your senses” thang.

And REALLY listening, using my secret sauce, is a “use all your senses, heart, soul and intuition” thang.

Nobody listens to anybody anymore.

And people are DYING for somebody who will.

If you’re up to the task, you’re gonna see amazing things come from it.

A great book about this is “Just Listen” by Mark Goulston.

Already got too much in your “to be read” stack? Then all you REALLY need to do is read the title. You can put it into practice immediately.

Life just seems to go much more smoothly this way. And it takes all the pressure off you in business and social situations.

You don’t have to try and be interesting.

Or carry the conversation.

Just ask a couple questions and shut your big pie hole.

And after practicing this for a while… if you REALLY listen… a change starts to happen.

You look at the world… differently.

You look at people differently.

You look at your role in this world differently.

And… even in the hardened heart of a grizzled inner city cop…  an empathy starts to develop.

And maybe… just maybe… the annoying things your dad, mom, brother, sister, friend, spouse or business partner used to do….

…the things that always bothered you or pissed you off…

…don’t seem to have the same effect on you.

Instead, you just see them as a part of their communication process.

So you listen some more.

And you see their heart.

My grandpa was one wise hombre.

I should have listened to him a lot more when he was alive.

But that ship sailed a long time ago.

No matter.

What’s important is this:

I’m listening now.

All the best,

Doberman Dan

 

 

P.S. Right now, I’m sitting on the lanai. The waterfall in the pool is making a sound I find relaxing.

So I’m just sitting here… listening.

The Colombiana is in the kitchen speaking Spanish with our handyman.

Ryan, one of the young guys who works here on the property (ya see… I listened when he told me his name the other day) is doing edge trimming and fertilizing the grass. He’s about a half mile away but I can hear him.

The birds are singing.

I even hear an occasional cow moo a couple miles away.

It’s not quiet… but it’s peaceful.

And I feel happy.

…

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Listen…

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Pax vobiscum.